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Kids R Us
with cry baby Robben and boo hoo Mido
 IT
seems Sol Campbell isn’t the only man in football with
thoughts of treading the boards.
T’other week, Manchester City stars Bradley Wright-Phillips
and Andy Cole put on a bit of slap for a special appearance
at the Theatre of Dreams. Gracie Fields Theatre in Rochdale
for a performance of Dick Whittington that is.
 Steve
McManamen, the horse whisperer, may be rubbish at football these
days but it hasn’t stopped him from being drafted in to
work on the sequel to blockbuster movie Goal… imaginatively
titled Goal II.
And it’s not official, but Alex “We can catch Chelsea”
Ferguson looks a cert for a part as a nutty-as-a-fruitcake hairdryer
salesman in Mission Impossible IV.
Finally, Hilary Swank lookey-likey Arjen Robben has been nominated
for a role in Million Dollar Cry Baby by part-time Hollywood
talent spotter Rafa Benitez. No wonder Sol did a Stephen-Fry-style
disappearing act the other day.
Still at least being made to look like an extra from the Keystone
Cops by Spurs reject Bobby Zamora means Sol won’t have
to worry about auditioning for the World Cup anymore.We can
leave that to Ledley King, a man who rarely fluffs his lines,
on or off the pitch.
I WASN’T happy with my performance in last week’s
column – I was caught napping and Catherine Etoe scored
a few easy shots.
There was no Mido-style strop, though, I simply left the office
early, went home and thought about where it had gone wrong.
I spent the weekend in Grimsby clearing my head, wondering what
to do next. And on Monday morning I was back and resolute that
Etoe’s jealous little pops at Theo Walcott would sting
no more.
 Theo
– who sensibly turned down Spurs (he is not the next Grzegorz
Rasiak) and Chelsea (he is not the next Shaun Wright-Phillips)
– scored on his reserve team debut on Tuesday and is clearly
a huge talent.
My advice to all readers is to cut out all the columns where
Etoe puts down Theo and turn them into something useful. I’ve
begun making a life-size paper mache model of Martin Jol’s
giant head with the cuttings. The end product is going to be
like that wonderful clay model of Lionel Richie’s perm
revealed in the ‘Hello’ video. Etoe can have it as
a gift at the end of the season to show there are no hard feelings.
There was another reason to collect last week’s column,
my great new petition. Unfortunately, the response to the Martin
Jol for England manager campaign has been low. Not one person
wrote in after the ‘Pick Pumpkinhead’ campaign launch
to support the lobby. What does that say?
Are they talking rubbish? Let us know at Your Shout, 40 Camden
Road, NW1 9DR or by email: sport@camdennewjournal.co.uk |
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