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Bottling it and playing for pride
SPORT’S biggest bottlers. Jimmy White, who only needed to pot an easy black ball to be world champion – but missed.
Jana Novotna, the tennis player who cried on a minor Royal’s shoulder after botching up the Wimbledon final. Gavin Hastings, the egg-chasing Scot who couldn’t kick it between the sticks properly in the Rugby (fighting) World Cup against England. And now Tottenham Hotspur – the world gurus of bottling important cup matches. On Sunday, these proud bunglers were at it again. Three-one up and heading to the semi-finals of the FA Cup with a win over Chelsea, they were clearly in the mood for another spectacular bottle job.
You can hear the Spurs players thinking: “Watch out boys, 3-1, if we carry on like this, we might actually win!” Be honest, how many of you out there actually thought they were going to do it? Don’t write in, I know what your answer is. Spurs have previous. They are skilled bunglers. A couple of years ago they screwed up a three-goal lead against Manchester City (who had 10 men) and lost a cup match 4-3. They also were two-up against Arsenal in the Carling Cup semi-final – their biggest match of the season – but chucked it all away. The fun always short-lived, it must be horrible being a Spurs fan. I’d rather have nothing to play for than go through that kind of embarrassment.
IT’S coming to something when the only reason you’ve got to read the back pages is the hope they might contain news of a Spurs slip-up.
But such is the life of a Gooner since their cry-baby team threw all three of their sippy cups out of their prams to end Arsenal’s season three months prematurely. Nevermind that Spurs have lit up their two cup games with more goals than Arsenal have scored in a month, all we got on Sunday were mealy mouthed moans.
“Ooh, rubbish Spurs cocked it up at Stamford Bridge,” the Gooners gibbered like over-fed orangutans.
Is that as opposed to Arsenal cocking it up at Ewood Park, Anfield and Ashburton? Or Bramall Lane, the Riverside and the Reebok?
Take your pick, they all count when all you’ve got in your fancy new trophy cabinet is Theo Walcott’s Year 7 swimming certificate and a pair of Freddie Ljungberg’s underpants. Suddenly that signed copy of Sir Richard Osley’s ‘A Losers Guide to Intertoto Grounds’ that you saw on ebay looks like it might be worth £1.75 after all eh?
Go for it Gooners, you’ve got nothing to lose but your pride and Chelsea Alex eked the last drops of that out of you in that Chumpions League bore draw last week.
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