I HAVE never seen reporters tap their computer keyboards so frantically. It could only mean one thing – no, not print deadlines approaching, but the Journal Office ­Fantasy Football League competition is ready to roll.
Last year there was a whiff of Serie A-style scandal hanging over our office league. A certain Gooner colleague spent much of last season cheating (typical) by having three Chelsea players in his side – he had bought Ashley Cole on the day it was announced he was on his way to Chelsea but was still ­registered as a Gooner.
You are only allowed two players from one side so ­having ‘Cashley’ ignored the spirit of the game. The cheat refused to do the honourable thing, underlining his bad sportsmanship. Never mind – he won nothing.
So what is the secret of a successful Fantasy team? Various theories abound…
One: use up your quota from the top three clubs in goal, defence and as one of your forwards – two from United, two from Liverpool and two from Chelsea.
Two: Obvious I know, but you must also remember this: never pick a Gooner.
Three: Find this year’s dark horse midfielder. Get yourself a Steve Sidwell. I got lucky when I threw Joey ­Barton in before City imploded, and Pompey’s Matthew Taylor also did me proud – cheap and on the score sheet. Having used up your top three club rations, find midfielders from the likes of Bolton, (Kevin Nolan?) Everton (Mikel Arteta?) and, of course, any one from Spurs.
Four: Forwards. It is worth splashing out on a Berbatov or Drogba, but while it’s great to have four defenders from United, Liverpool and Chelsea, you won’t be able to have a strikeforce made up of them.
For best results, back up your star striker with ­someone cheap and cheerful. I have got my eye on Fulham’s new boy David Healy. Cheap as chips for an international forward.
And then there is the most difficult job of the lot: choosing a credible name. I shall be registering ‘Where’s-your-captain-gone, he’s-on-his-way-to-sunny-Spain FC,’ before sitting back and letting the games commence. Good luck.

Is he right? What do you think? To let us know your views just email us at:
sports@camdennewjournal.