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Rubbish pants and Oscar-winning dives
 I HATE Spurs but how must poor old Pedro Mendes feel about them.
First he gets kicked out of Tottenham despite being one of their best players. Then he gets kicked all over the place, almost maimed, by ex-Tottenham man Ben Thatcher.
And then he goes back to White Hart Lane with Portsmouth and gets completely conned by diving Didier Zokora. Don’t worry Pedro, we know they’re all spineless runts. You’re better off with Pompey and without all those pointless Wafer Cup matches.
Pedro is also better off without playing alongside Celebrity Fat Club’s Mido. He reckons Sol Campbell is the easiest defender in the world to play against. D’uh. That’s why you scored none, zip-diddly, absolutely no goals, against Sol when he was at Arsenal. Idiot. Come back when you can play like Robin Van Persie. Truth is, readers, I have never seen a Spurs player score a better goal than Robin’s rocket. And neither have you. Gallaswatch: Hands down, he’s still better than Cole.
 DID you see that game against Portsmouth? Were you outraged when that cheating overseas import threw himself over to win a penalty? Feel sicker than an Evertonian who has just seen Joey Barton flash his third eye? Me too.
But it’s three years since cheaty Robert Pires fell bum over boob at Pompey like a drunken Wag off a table-top. And if I can forget the fact that Arsenal only remained unbeaten that season by winning a dodgy penalty at Portsmouth, you can.
It was good to see Bagpuss Redknapp’s overachievers at the Lane this week though.
Looks like Sol generously brought everyone at the club (that made him) a pair of pants from his new collection. Marty Jol was overjoyed with his new stonewash flares judging by the cuddle he gave Sol after Spurs had showed him up for the rubbish defender he now is.
Mido was less chuffed with his denim underpants though. Apparently he wanted to look like Freddie Ljungberg not Freddie Flintoff..
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