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Go online and wipe smirk off Etoe’s face
 I’VE wondered whether I was the right man for this job. Whether I was qualified to tell you how great Arsenal are each week. To pick you up twice a year when the team loses to Bolton. I wondered whether somebody else could have come up with something as funny as Grimsby 1 Spurs 0 – repeat. Somebody who could match the genius wit of Catherine Etoe and her switcheroo gags. And it turns out the answer is: No. I’m the best. Me.
 I say so because everybody now has the chance to add their thoughts at www.thecnj.com/discussion – and so far nobody has come up with anything remotely as funny as my classic Kolo Toure’s Favourite Dinner of Boil In The Bag Haddock joke earlier this season.
In fact, the new messageboard, open to all, coerced by none, peaked in intelligent comment when somebody posted: “Come on Rushden and Diamonds”. See if you can do better this week, readers, there is a north London derby to play for and much crowing to be had.
 I DRAGGED Richard Osley’s Smug Smile Guide article out of the bottom of the budgie cage on Saturday and followed it to the letter for the rest of the weekend.
 I suggest those Spurs fans who missed the Grin Guru’s advice look it up on the interweb so you’re fully prepared for the next time his team play like blindfolded five-year-olds trying to pin the tail on a donkey, while our team play like lions home and away.
Keep smiling Gooners. So Arsenal reject(er) Nic Anelka made your nippers look like numpties. At least the big bucks Real Madrid were daft enough to fork out for him paid for a couple of self flushing loos at London Colney.
You think Thierry would have stayed without them? No sireee.
Spurs did even better when Man Utd paid £17.5m too much for our big money want-away Michael (Can’t Even Beat Chelski) Carrick. That dosh bought us a new bagel van and Dimitar Berbatov. Oh yeah, and a smile Mr Osley would be proud of.
Have YOUR say in the CROWZONE |
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