Penny for the Berbatov? Stop mugging me off...
IF somebody dressed up a little like Dimitar Berbatov – all pale-faced like a ghoul and sporting badly cut goth-pub hair – knocks on your door come Halloween next week, asking for a treat, don’t be too quick to slam the door. Have a heart.
You never know – it might not be another one of those pesky teenagers who roam the streets, trying to get something for nothing on the basis of little more than a rubbish American tradition and the threat of criminal damage.
It might actually be Sir Sulk-a-Lot himself.
Bored with being unable to get into a team that has only won one league match all season, Dim is looking for something to do in the evenings right now and, let’s face it, he would pass for a sulky sixth-former.
Give him a treat – a satsuma or something – and put a smile on that grumpy little face.
Contrast Berbatov’s grim mug with the beaming smile of Theo Walcott, who never had time to go out trick-or-treating because he was too busy being good at football.
And look where it’s got him. A Champions League debut. Two goals. Playing for a team that is top of the table in the league and winning European matches by a margin that needs to be spelt out on the videprinter.
There were plenty of doubters over the last couple of seasons, and I was glad to see Theo rub their noses in it on Tuesday with a goal our old friend Thierry would have been proud of.
AS a Spurs fan, it’s not easy to feel sympathy for the old Wimbledon team. Apart from the irritating persistence of their aerial bombardment and nut-crunching tackles, they ruined Gary Mabbutt’s angelic looks and introduced the world to Vinnie Jones. And Dennis Wise.
When their club was whisked away and transferred to Milton Keynes, I did feel that their fans had been a little hard done by. Well, sort of.
But now it’s clear something similar has happened to Tottenham. The players mostly look the same as last year, with a few extraordinary additions. They wear the right coloured shirts and when they do turn up to play, they presumably go to the appropriate dressing room. Yet somehow they all seem different. Someone has stolen the real Spurs.
Let’s look at the facts: One big spending top five club, with massive European ambition, appears to have transformed into another. A club suffering boardroom-inspired turmoil with collapsing player confidence, on the verge of a relegation struggle – and all in the space of just one season.
The warning signs were already in place a while ago with the arrivals of Robinson, Keane and Lennon. Then this season the final piece of the puzzle was put in place with the introduction of our new all-white strip.
That’s right, the Tottenham Hotspur we all know and love has been swiped from under our noses and replaced by Leeds United.
Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?
