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What next for Spurs?
A turning point or a plague of locusts
OH my. When I went to the hurdy gurdy tree at the top of the hill over the summer and wished for sunshine for Arsenal and rainstorms for Bottom One Tottenham, I never thought this would happen. Where will it all end?
Not only were Spurs rubbish at the weekend again, they had players stretchered off, sent off and booed off. What next: a locust plague? Another lasagna dinner?
Annoying celebrity Arsenal fans Rory McGrath, Piers Morgan and Jonathan Creek, whoops, I mean Alan Davies, to defect to the Tottenham supporters’ paddock?
It has got so bad that you dare not look some Spurs’ fans in the face any more for fear that a slight smug grin might lead to a teary breakdown.
Joking aside, it is harsh to see friends who just happen to support the wrong football team having their worst-ever bout of Seasonal Affective Disorder. They are familiar with the symptoms but never has it been this bad. See how they walk around looking sallow, sleepless and unshaven – and that’s just the female fans.
Regular readers will notice that’s a switcheroo gag recycled from crow column No 94 published two years ago, but if it’s worth telling once...
The biblically catastrophic events at Tottenham are, of course, distracting us all from at the free-scoring performances from Arsenal. Twenty goals in the past six games and the emergence of Theo Walcott should not go unnoticed.
THERE is a familiar routine developing at Spurs this season.
We lose a match to a team that we expect to beat and then the players say the same three things.
First they say: “We all back Juande Ramos”, followed by: “There is no problem with our morale”, before tragically finishing with: “If we win our next match that could be a turning point in our season.”
The first of these comments is true, everyone is backing Ramos. Although it is good to present a united front, it shows a dramatic change in the standards we expect from our manager.
Last year Martin Jol was sacked for far less, so why are we hanging on so tight to a man who has so far proved himself a worse manager?
The second comment cannot be true.
Any team defeated by Hull, Stoke, Sunderland and Middlesbrough at such an early stage in the season simply has to be low on morale.
The presence of the motivational talisman Gus Poyet and David Bentley’s comical haircut simply cannot make up for such disappointment.
The third comment, although wonderfully optimistic, has already lost its truth.
If we are to turn this season around we need to learn how to defend and how to score goals. Winning a game may cheer people up, but it won’t suddenly make us a good team. |
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