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Win a football match without using our feet? YES WE CAN!
WHAT a momentous week for the world!
And no we are not talking about the global shock from Bottom One Tottenham finally winning a match.
No, it’s far more momentous than that.
We are not talking about Switzerland’s Lewis Hamilton becoming the youngest-ever champ at the pointless sport of car racing either.
Nor England’s astoundingly rubbish attempts to show off at rugby league and cricket. The egg chasers got thumped in Australia by a record score, while the rah-rahs lost the chance of winning $20million.
Nope. The momentous story of the week was victory in a long-running fight for equality.
American prophets once dreamed about the day that footballers would not be judged on their ability to pass the ball with their feet but the content of their throw-ins.
(Sorry readers, Martin Luther King’s descendants, sorry Mum, sorry Dad, this really is an Obama switcheroo...)
Anyway. We persevere. Back in the 1960s, Americans dreamed about a sport where players good at chucking a football had as much importance as people who were skilled with their feet.
There was the Million Throwers March and sit-ins on football terraces in Stoke, and then one man stood up to all the bigotry and proved to the world that throw-ins were just as much a part of football. Yup. Rory Delap is President.
BEFORE this week Spurs fans had very little to smile about.
Only Arsenal’s brilliant habit of dropping points and underperforming against teams that they expect to beat was providing any joy.
Bizarrely, Wenger has learned nothing from his side’s complacency this season and chose to underestimate Stoke wonderfully on Saturday, saying: “They score one goal every one or two months and it is not like a penalty, it is a throw-in.”
Very true, Arsene, so why
didn’t you practise defending throw-ins then?
Now Stoke have scored four months’ worth of goals against you!
Stoke are a fine and worthy addition to Arsenal’s list of bogey teams, that is, any physical team. They display many of Bolton’s finest qualities, in particular some terrible tackling and long-ball football, and have reduced Wenger to his tizzying worst, while the fans sulk about their lightweight midfield.
At the Lane, the newly rejuvenated, though still defensively terrifying, Tottenham overcame the unbeaten Liverpool, completing perhaps the most unpredictable week in the club’s history.
The Spurs players have simultaneously stumbled upon character, the back of the net and a long-awaited dose of good luck; perhaps all three the result of Mr Redknapp’s arrival.
Now let’s hope the jowly messiah can get us up the table. |
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