|
|
 |
| |
It’s the only fans’
resolution that’s really worth
shouting about
NEW Year’s resolutions time. Sign up here. This year...
We will not concede last-minute goals. We will not wear pink boots.
We will switch channels whenever Harry Redknapp’s Wii advert comes on.
We will buy new players when others leave. We will keep Cesc Fabregas. We will not sulk. We will not blame defeats and draws on the referee. We will give Vela a run in the first team. We will do the double over Chelsea and Manchester United. We will ask the stadium announcer to stop asking us to shout the surnames of the players back at him as if we are all still Junior Gunners. We will demand a percentage reduction in our cable subscriptions every time Jamie Redknapp mentions the fact that he is related to Frank Lampard. We will not turn in desperation to the Carling Cup. We will buy a goalkeeper, a defender, a holding midfielder and striker.
We won’t read David Mellor’s column in the Standard as long as he wastes inch after inch on criticising Arsenal. We will keep Kolo.
We will give the woman commentator on Radio 5 a chance, even when she’s shrieking. We will not leave before the end. We will score four goals in the north London derby, without conceding four or more goals. We will win the Champions League. Hang on, you know what – scrap all of them, how about: We will cheer the team on at home matches. That’ll do for starters.
UNFORTUNATELY, it is impossible to excuse a 2-0 defeat to West Brom.
Despite Harry Redknapp’s finest attempts to slur the referee, the fact remains that we lost to the worst team in the league.
Therefore we should talk about Arsenal, dominated by Aston Villa and terrible against Pompey. Their current predicament has forced Arsene Wenger to go even more insane than he already was.
In his programme notes he said: “Maybe we need a little bit of experience.” Does he mean a 20-year-old veteran midfielder like Amaury Bischoff or a renegade 31-year-old with childish tendencies like William Gallas?
Either way, Wenger has deliberately got rid of his experienced players as part of his great child football philosophy experiment, so now the man is clearly backtracking. As he panics, empty seats are springing up all over the Emirates Stadium, the Gooners so disillusioned with the future that they’re leaving their £1,500 season ticket with the au pair and heading out to the matinée at the National Theatre instead.
Of course there is no problem really. Clearly Bischoff is ready to step in and take control. After all, Wenger thought the midfielder was good enough to replace Hleb, Gilberto and Flamini and Wenger’s always right, isn’t he?
Well, according to Luzhny, Cygan and Jeffers he is. Keep losing the plot Arsene, it’s fun to watch. |
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
