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Ten men, and ten years since Spurs beat Arsenal in the league
TEN men and you fudged it up.
And so it goes on, it’s now ten years since Tottenham won a league match against Arsenal. Ten years. That’s a lot. Think where you were the last time it happened? And think of all the things that have happened in between? It’s been ages.
While Spurs have spent all that time searching for an elusive league win, generations of children have grown up wondering whether it has ever happened.
The last time it did – way back in 1999 – people were only starting to use the internet and mobile phones regularly.
Back then, there was no Sky Plus, no Facebook, no black American presidents – there wasn’t even an Islington Tribune, now that borough’s most important local paper. Back then it was Kilroy, not Jeremy Kyle, Celebrity Squares rather than Celebrity Big Brother and Celebrity Mastermind, and it was Des doing the FA Cup coverage, not Matt Smith and Robbie Earle. A forgotten age, there was a Woolworths on every corner rather than a Subway sandwich shop, people walked around claiming two-step garage was a valid form of music, while Tom Hanks won every single Oscar.
Over this long, searching, decade for Spurs, Arsenal have won a couple of league titles and a clutch of FA Cups.
It also saw the rise of Chelsea, but you don’t need a long memory to remember when they didn’t have a pot to you know what in.
PREMIERSHIP managers have it rough, almost as rough as Tony Adams has looked since he decided to get into the business.
They (except Ferguson) have three potential career paths. First, you can get the sack in six months and receive a healthy severance package and some patronising praise, such as: “Felipe has brought many positives to the club since he joined and we all feel a sense of sadness that our relationship has ended so soon.”
The second option is to take every job you can get your hands on, both on and off the pitch, gradually easing your way from management into punditry – no doubt Adams will galumph on to our screens soon enough with the rest of the BBC’s awful ex-Arsenal panel.
Or third, your chairman just accepts your club’s mediocrity and gives up on any ambitions, à la Middlesbrough, Blackburn or Arsenal.
After Sunday’s display of headless enthusiasm, exhibited especially well by Emmanuel “I wanted to win so much that I complained constantly and kicked someone,” Eboue, the moaners have resurfaced everywhere, led by their talisman of disgruntled nonsense, Professor Wenger.
Villa’s seven-point lead has resulted in a terrible epidemic of Gooner blindness – they are now unable to see that they have been appalling for weeks. After this week, Arsene’s lucky he still has a job. |
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