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20 years on, we’ve taken the Michael factor out of the game
UNLIKE Rafa Benitez or Jamie Carragher, I can say well done to Man United.
Well done. It’s them again. But let’s be honest, it’s booooriing. Even some of the United players looked bored by it all. Monkey-chested Ryan Giggs tried to tell us how delighted he was, but speaking in a monotone voice so dull that you wondered whether he really knows how many trophies he’s won.
It’s like pretending it was fun watching Pete Sampras win Wimbledon every year, or Miguel Indurain proving unbeatable in the Tour de France or Michael Phelps in the swimming.
Bored by his own success, Giggs has forgotten to retire and finds himself repeating: “Yeah, every title is special” every May like a miswired robot.
As another reporter told me last week, we are all “anaesthetised” to United’s success – a posh way of saying bored.
Each season all the teams play their fixtures, some goals are scored, Arsenal sell somebody to Barcelona, Tottenham amass as many midfielders as possible, Joey Barton gets arrested, West Brom are either relegated or promoted – and then at the end of nine months, United are named champions. Like clockwork.
For all the undisputed United talent, what the rest of us really need is some entertainment.
Twenty years on from Michael Thomas’s last-minute goal at Anfield, the game is crying out for another thrilling finale.
SO another season draws to a close, and before it’s even over Spurs are being linked with more players than Danielle Lloyd.
Of course, we’re all aware of Harry Redknapp’s eye for a bargain, but it would be a refreshing change to see a recognisable team in August.
Arsenal, much to the fans’ disappointment, will no doubt see an almost identical line-up next season, perhaps lacking the lanky laziness of Emmanuel Ade-barn-door, but his large boots will be adequately replaced by Nicklas “best striker ever” Bendtner’s little pink pair.
At any rate they can expect a similar sloppiness in front of goal.
The climate of despair has returned to the Emirates quicker than Bendtner can pull down his trousers.
As fans suggest strengthening every area on the pitch, the wily Arsene Wenger is mulling over a quick escape to Real Madrid, where they’ve offered him enough money to buy 200 teenagers. He could lead a veritable football revolution, a lot more successful than his current fiasco at Arsenal.
Meanwhile, at the Lane, we can beat Liverpool for the third time this season on Sunday, or we can cleverly lose and avoid the Europa League in order to launch a devastating domestic campaign next season. The choice is ours. |
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