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Jay, Cosmo, Fran and Miles Landesman then (1967) |
My stellar son and parents who didn’t follow the script
‘Embarrassing father’ Jay Landesman describes how his offspring’s attack on him has been cathartic for the whole family
Starstruck: Fame, Failure, My Family and Me
by Cosmo Landesman. Macmillan
IT wasn’t easy being an overly sensitive young teenager trying to bring up two starstruck parents on his own, but my son, Cosmo Landesman, gave it a shot – and failed.
Starstruck: Fame, Failure, My Family and Me is a book about the pursuit of fame at any cost and, as Cosmo has pointed out throughout the book, his parents’ obsession with fame had a profound effect on him. At least he kept his sense of humour and followed my lifetime philosophy never to take anything seriously, as this book is very funny – although my wife and I are the victims of this.
I tried to bring my two sons up in a bohemian, unbourgeois way, but now realise that what Cosmo wanted was normal, conventional, clean and tidy, middle-class parents. He found us, especially our open marriage, an embarrassment, whereas I think it the best way to live. After all, Fran and I are still together after 58 years and my two boys have had two failed marriages each. It could be pointed out this was our bad example, but freedom in marriage worked for us.
Much of the book reveals the phone calls I made to him when I was excited about one of my new projects, for example:
Me: Have you got a minute?
Cosmo: Well, actually I’m a bit...
Me: Do you know a good scriptwriter?
Cosmo: (Alarm bells going off) Why?
Me: Big news, I’m doing the movie of Landesmania! (Landesmania! is the name of a book about my life that, as Cosmo so mercilessly points out, I paid a friend to write).
Cosmo: But you’ve already written two film scripts about your life and...
Me: Them? Ahh... they were just... well, first drafts.
Cosmo: And who’s going to make this film?
Me (excitedly): Nic Roeg is directing and Sandy Lieberson is producing!
Cosmo: Does Nic Roeg know that he’s directing the movie of your life?
Me: No, not exactly. But the Landesmania! script would be perfect for him.
Cosmo: What script?
Me: That’s why I called. Do you know any good scriptwriters?
Cosmo: No.
Click.
I suppose unrealised projects are the story of my life, but my wife has had and continues to have considerable success. She is a poet and lyricist who wrote such standards as Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most and The Ballad of the Sad Young Men, performed by great singers including Barbra Streisand and Bette Midler.
At the age of 80 she is still performing and has just returned from a successful run at the Gaslight Theatre in St Louis where she was compared to Piaf. But I’m not sure Cosmo considers her good mother material and probably feels our pursuit of fame caused us to neglect the welfare of our children.
Although Fran and I bear the brunt of this brilliant, hilarious book, I’m glad Cosmo wrote it as it is probably therapy for all of us, and an ironic outcome is that it has brought the Landesmans more notoriety.
I can see a wonderful film script here. Who can play me and Fran? Are Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor still alive? Maybe Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie when we were younger? I know Spielberg will want to direct. I must call Cosmo...
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